When stress and tiredness unite their forces, they manage to make me crumble and fall into a deep and dark place. There, at the bottom of the pit, there is no light, there is no ladder, there is no hope.
All of a sudden, that precious, chimeric concept that keeps me going, HOPE, is gone like it has never existed, leaving a huge emptiness behind it.
I feel small and lost. I feel like the person I was yesterday, that person that could take on the world, is gone and I’m afraid she may never return.
And then I panic. I panic because only she can take care of my son and his needs. I panic because I could never keep up with the things she does. I panic because I am not a fighter. I panic...
But then I remember this quote I read with the corner of my eye on a subway poster.
“When you get tired, learn to rest not to give up”.
It took me a while to understand this but I think I finally got a hold of it. I cannot stop stressful things from happening any more than I can stop being tired. So, I cannot prevent these days from happening but I can stop fueling them with my fears. So I just step back for a couple of days, breathe deeply and try to release as much stress as I can.
If Stress + Tiredness < Critical then my “take on the world” self will return. I'm counting on it!
